Funny Sketches Man Fishing Anf Quotes

If you want the best funny fish puns, fishing one-liners, and fish pun memes – then this post is for you! I hope these funny fish puns, fishing one-liners, and memes make your day!

Top 5 Fish Puns

1. What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
2. Have you ever seen a fish cry? – No, but I have seen a whale blubber.
3. Did you hear about the fight at the restaurant last night? Four fish got battered!
4. How do you keep a fish from smelling? Chop of its nose.
5. Where do fish go to borrow money? To the prawn broker, or sometimes a loan shark.

So I take my reefing seriously most days – but sometimes you have to sit back and have a laugh.

Enjoy these fish puns and jokes that are all in good fun for the whole family.

Be sure to read to the end for some tips on how to write your very own fish puns.

Fish Puns and Memes

• What has big sharp teeth, a tail, scales, and a trunk? A barracuda on vacation.
• Why will the fish never take responsibility? Because it's always salmon else's fault.
• Why is it so easy to weigh a fish? Because they have their own scales.
• What type of instrument do fish love to play? The bass, but some play just the bass drum.
• Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
• Why don't monkfish have girlfriends? The practice seal-aba-sea.

• Why didn't the peppermint shrimp share her toys? She was too shellfish.
• What fish goes up the river at 100mph? A motor pike!
• Why do some fish live at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school.
• Which fish can perform operations? A sturgeon!
• Where does a killer whale go for braces? The 'ORCA-dontist'
• What does a fish wrap around its shoulders to keep warm? A shoal!
• What kind of whale can fly? A pilot whale!
• Why are they called sperm whales? – Because seamen discovered them.
• Why was the whale so sad? – Because she was a Blue whale.
• Why are fish so lucky? Because they seize every 'oppor-TUNA-ty.'
• Why do fish companies never succeed? They always have to scale back.
• Where do fish sleep? In a water bed!
• Why is it that fish never go to war? Because they are paci-fish-ts.
• What did the fish say when everyone left his party? 'Tanks' for coming over!
• Why do fish have troubled relationships? They are scared of intima-sea.

Just when you thought it was safe to continue reading…

• Why should you never fight an octopus? Because he's too well-armed.
• What did the fish say when his relationship started to flounder? Halibut we chat about it?
• Why is a fisherman so stingy? Because his work made him sell-fish.
• What did the romantic fisherman want? A good looking gill-friend.
• Who do fish pray to? COD almighty, of course!

• How come you didn't eat your sushi? Because it looked too fishy!
• If a fish got the lead role in a movie, what would he be called? A Starfish.
• Why did the starfish blush? Because she saw the boat's bottom.
• Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman? He was lost at C.
• Where do fish store their money? In the river bank.
• Why don't fish go into business together? They are always sole proprietors.
• Where do fish sleep? In a riverbed!
• What did the fish take to work? His favorite b-reef-case.
• What type of music is best to listen to while fishing? Something catchy!
• Why do fish always lose their court cases? Because they always look so gill-ty.

Good g-reef! Let's take a small break from these cod awful fish puns because they are krill-ing me!

Here are a few fin- tastic time-tested sayings that are just a little too fishy!

• Things are going swimmingly.
• You're like a fish out of water.
• There is plenty of fish in the sea.
• I've got bigger fish to fry.
• He's just fishing for compliments.
• The critic gave a biting review.
• I got stewed to the gills at the bar last night.
• Between the devil and the deep blue sea
• This is a fine kettle of fish.
• Like a fish out of water
• I'd rather be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond

• Things are going swimmingly.
• There is something fishy about that.
• A drop in the ocean
• Catch and release
• She broke my heart, and now I feel gutted.
• Don't date him; he's a bottom feeder.
• The mob sent him swimming with the fishes.
• Sink or swim, we are in this together.
• Tip the scales in our favor
• Carpe diem
• This list of fish puns is off the hook.
• By hook or by crook
• We are in deep water now.
• I ate so much I'm stuffed to the gills.
• The car 'snails-man' tried the old bait and switch.
• Don't take the bait
• The concertgoers were smashed together like sardines.
• Reel something in
• He's going to have to catch fire to win this race.
• The beautiful girl wanted to catch someone's fancy.
• Catch your breath
• I can't catch a break.
• Did I catch you at a bad time?
• Where do fish sleep? On the seabed!
• What's the catch?
• It's a catch-22
• Easy as shooting fish in a barrel
• Swimming against the stream
• He's a cold fish
• Drink like a fish
• Not bad, but you cod do better…
• We should 'dolphin-itely' scale back on the fish puns.
• Any fin is possible, be strong and don't trout yourself!
• Ahh, guys, you're krill-ing me now!
• It seems a bit fishy to me.
• He really schooled you at Fortnight.

Feel free to borrow our fish pun memes!

• Why did the starfish get grounded? Because she was supposed to get A's and B's, but her grades were below sea level.
• What do whales like to chew? Blubber gum!
• What is a blue whale's favorite James Bond Film? – License to Krill
• Where do really sick fish go? To see the sturgeon.
• Why didn't the man eat his sushi? Because it looked too fishy.
• How do ocean creatures keep up to date? They surf the web for the current news.
• Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can't walk.

• Why did the shopkeeper throw the clams out? They were past their 'shell-by' date.
• Why did the woman make tons of fish-eye soup? Because it will 'sea' her through the week.
• How do you tuna fish? Adjust their scales, of course!
• How does a group of whales make a decision? Flipper coin!
• Why did your Dad quit his job as a fisherman? Because his net income wasn't enough.
• Do you know why DJ's aren't allowed to work at fish markets? Because they're always dropping the bass.
• What happens when you mix a fish and a banker? A: You get a loan shark.

• Where do orcas catch the train? At the whale-weigh station!
• What is the whale's favorite story? The Humpback of Notre Dame
• What does the fish say when she hit a concrete wall? Oh, dam!
• What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish? Tsardines!
• What is an orca's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune with Vana Whitefish and Pat Seajack!
• Why are fish schools important? They promote 'litera-sea.'
• How do you make an octopus laugh? Give it 'ten-tickles.'

Fish one-liners

• If I were Captain of this ship, I'd make him walk the plank-ton for that!
• At fish school, the math teacher demands 'accura-sea!'
• Don't trust unlicensed fish puns! Make sure they are 'o-fish-ial.'
• We, the jury, find you gill-ty of too many fish puns!
• Have you thought of a good pun yet, or do you need more time to mullet over?

• Cod, I talk with you about those fish-cious rumors going aground?
• Everything was going swimmingly until my Nemo-sis arrived.
• You better not get tanked, or you will feel my wrasse!
• Don't worry about what they say in school; I think you are 'fin-tastic.'
• Fish puns aren't for everyone, but these one-liners are Kraken me up!
• Mayor Mackerel loved to speak to his 'constituen-sea.'
• Cod you pass me the salt? (Cod that one was bad, ' eel-y ' 'eel-y' bad.)
• Well, kiss my bass, salmon had to say it.
• Dear cod, I laughed so hard I nearly carped my pants!
• Who will be the sole survivor of this mess?
• I really believe it to the bottom of my sole.
• Keep your friends close, but keep your anemones closer.

• I'm hooked!
• I won't be cod dead participating in this.
• Actually, I'm just expecting someone else to mussel in on this any minnow now.
• The socialite was 'so-fish-ticated!'
• Stop carping on – you're giving me a haddock.
• We all need to clam down now – I'm a bit shell-shocked.
• Can't you guys do any Betta than this?
• We're just hoping to avoid turtle disaster here!
• Oh, for cods sake, not another fishy one-liner!
• You don't have to be a brain sturgeon to come up with a fish pun.
• Cod I borrow some money, all mine is in the riverbank?
• Everywhere I look, all I sea are 'bass-icaly' cod awful puns!
• We whale-y need to stop now – I can't take it 'a-Nemo!'
• Are you trying to gill-t me into stopping these fish puns?
• Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of carp.

How to be a fish pun master:

Here is a list of words and phrases that can be swapped out of normal sentences to make your own fish puns, fishing one-liners, and memes.

• Anymore / Nemo: I just can't see you a-Nemo.
• A**/ Bass: I got thrown from the seahorse and landed on my bass.
• Bae / Bay: I got your back, bay.
• B*tch / Beach: Don't think you know me, beach!
• Could / Cod: Cod you help me, please?
• Coy / Koi: Don't act koi, I know you find me 'fin-tastic!'
• Crazy / Cra-sea: I'm Cra-sea for thinking you love me!
• Cuddle / Cuttle: Let's cuttle and watch Netflix.
• Deep: These one-liners are not very deep.
• Dive: These puns have taken a bit of a dive.

• Fan / Fin: Whale jokes are 'fin-tastic!'
• Feel / Eel: Eel-ing, nothing more than eel-ings.
• god / Cod: The fish are praying to cod that this will end soon.
• Words with 'gil' sound / Gill: The judge knew he was gill-ty.
• Had / Haddock: I've haddock enough of this nonsense.
• Hearing / Herring: You're not herring me; stop these awful jokes!
• Hell of it / Halibut: I'm going to keep going, just for the halibut.
• Horse / Seahorse: I've been through the desert on a sea-horse with no name. It felt good to get out of the rain.
• Ill / Gill: That last one-liner made me eel a little gill; I might need a sturgeon.
• Word starting with 'In' / Fin: I always get 'fin-volved' with the wrong crowd.
• Grief /Reef: Good g-reef, Charlie Brown!
• Gullible / Sea-gullible: You must be sea-gullible to believe that story.

• Man / Manatee: Its time we have a manatee to manatee talk.
• Meant / Manta: I never manta hurt you, bay.
• More / Moray: The moray I try to stop these fishy jokes, the moray it sea-ms on porpoise.
• Mull it / Mullet: Send me to my room so I can mullet over.
• My nose / Minnows: I'm not going to cut minnows off just to spite my face.
• Naughty / Nautical: She was grounded for acting so nautical.
• Not / Naut: I'm naut going to stop these one-liners!
• Nemesis / Nemo-sis: Learn these phrases and then maybe you can become my fish pun Nemo-sis.
• Passivist / Passi-fish-t: The fish got battered even though he was a 'passi-fish-t' and didn't want any trouble.

• Sad / Shad: It's just shad when you see someone with a broken heart.
• Scale: Maybe we should scale back this list a bit.
• School: This one is obvious!
• Selfish / Shellfish: The teacher told the boy he was shellfish for not sharing his toys.
• See / Sea: Why don't you try and sea it my way.
• Send / Sand: I have some puns for you! Sand them right over!
• Serve / Surf: The dinner is first to come, first surfed.
• Surgeon / Sturgeon: What do you do with a fish with appendicitis? Take him to the sturgeon!
• Someone / Salmon: You had better get busy creating fish puns before salmon beats you to it!
• Sooner / Schooner: Even I will get sick of these puns schooner or later.
• Soul / Sole: Fish puns are good for the sole!
• Specific / Pacific: I don't understand. Can you be more pacific?
• Stand / Sand: Remember that jellyfish Sting? The one that sang, don't sand so close to me?
• Surf: No swap required!

• Title / Tidal: It's the finals, so the tidal is on the line!
• Thanks / Tanks: Tanks for all the funny memes!
• Thing / Fin: I've given my all; I have no fin left to give.
• Thin / Fin: Careful now, I know you are having a whale of a time, but you're skating on fin ice.
• Tidy / Tide-y: The starfish couldn't go out because mom said they need to tide-y up their sandbed.
• Total / Turtle: Turtle-y bro!
• Tried / Tide: The surfer tide and tide, but he couldn't catch a break.
• Waive / Wave: If you see me at the beach, give me a wave!
• What are / Water: Water you doing dating that nautical boy?
• What are we / Watery: The old wave and his buddy wondered 'watery going to do now?' that we are washed up?
• Wish / Fish: When you fish upon a starfish…

Fishing One-Liners

• To fish, or not to fish, that is not a question!
• It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.
• Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.
• There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
• I live with fear every day…but some days, she lets me go fishing!
• All fishermen are liars except for you and me, and I'm not so sure about you.
• I fish, therefore I lie.
• Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
• Fishing is easy. It's the catching that gets tricky!
• Everyone has to believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing!
• I'd rather be on the lake thinking about God than in church thinking about fishing.
• A fishing rod is a stick with a worm at one end and a fool at the other.
• The best way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly.
• You can't catch a fish unless you wet your line.
• Fisherman: a jerk on one end of the line waiting for a jerk on the other end of the line.
• If people concentrated on the essential things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
• Watch your own bobber…
• Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.
• Fishing dock: A surgeon on vacation.
• Good Boat, Good Bait, Good Beer, & Good Bye!
• An angler is a man who spends rainy days sitting on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won't let him do it at home.
• Fishing is a waste of time. Catching is worth all the time you wasted fishing.
• Shut up and fish!
• What do you call a woman with a fish in her hair? Annette
• It is said that the art of fly tying lies not in the beauty of a fly but in the ability of a fly to fool a beauty.
• A tough day of fishing is still better than a good day at work.
• I got a new bass boat for my wife….hell-of-a a trade!
• Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
• Show off your rod, fish naked!
• She shops, therefore I fish.
• Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.

Fish Pun Infographic

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Fish Pun Video!

I hope you enjoyed all the fish puns, fishing one-liners, jokes, and memes! Be sure to check back for updates!

Jerry Jeffers

As a saltwater reef enthusiast, I've been making bonehead mistakes and researching how to fix them since my first reef tank in 2001. Those 18+ years have taken me from the early days of saltwater aquariums - when most of us used trial and error to manage our tank - to today when technology and testing have improved so dramatically. The internet makes sharing our experiences so easy that we can now all learn from each other's mistakes. I created nanoreefadviser.com for just that purpose. Nano Reef Adviser provides current information on subjects of highest priority to the nano reefing community. This site represents the research and lessons learned over the last 18+ years, hopefully in a format that will help you navigate your nano reefing adventure!

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